An year ago

It was exactly an year ago on this day that I got caught married. My recollections on this day an year ago and the events leading to it. (Warning: very long)

On March 30 2006, my previous organization decided to reward me with the work that I had been doing for the past 12 months and gave me peanuts bonus. So my wife and I decided to get married. Since she could not take an off on a weekday, so we decided to issue the notice (see PS for details) declaring the intention to marry on Saturday. It happened to be the 1st of April. Undaunted and hoping that our friends would be mature enough to separate reality from pranks, we decided to go ahead.

Since my wife did not have an off on Saturday, we decided that once I had completed the paperwork, I would call her to sign on the notice. So I walked into the registrar's office in BDA Complex, Koramangala at 10 am. I had done some internet research on the Special Marriages Act, and took some tips from a colleague of mine too got married under this Act. A couple of days earlier, I had visited the place to find out the practical nuances. I had caught hold of a broker/agent who said that he would be able to get the thing done in no time - cost Rs. 900. All I need were the identity and age proofs of the both of us, the residence proofs and three witnesses to sign on the the notice.

When I reached this place, the place was deserted. I called up this guy, it turns out the office starts at 10 but everyone comes at 10:30 only. So I thought I would arrange for the witnesses to sign for me. I started calling people. Some excerpts of my conversations -

Call #1:
Me: Hi, Vivek here. I am planning to get married and would like you to come to the registrar's office to sign as a witness for me.
Friend #1: Ya right. Get some one else to be the bakra.

Call #2:
Me: Hi, Vivek here. I am planning to get married ....
Friend #2: Really - do you think I am such a dumb ass

Call #3:
Me: Hi, Vivek here. I am planning to get married ....
Friend #3: Ok today is Saturday. SoI have applied oil on my hair. I would be able to come only at 1.
Me: no problem.
Friend #3: Ok
Me: Yippie
5 mins later, Friend #3 called up again
Friend #3: I talked with my friends. I think you are making a fool of me. I am not coming.
Me: no baba. I swear. I am not making a fool of you. In fact you can get two of your friends too. I need 3 witnesses.
Friend #3: Ok
2 mins later, Friend #3 calls up again
Friend #3: My friends told me that you are going to make a grand fool out of all of us. We are not coming.
Me: Hey hold on, listen.
Friend #3: No. I am not going to be the laughing stock of the town. Bye.

This broker came in at 11. He gave a form and I filled in the details. I still had to find the witnesses. I called up my wife and asked her to come down to sign the papers. I kept calling my phone book. People were asleep, had gone to Tirupathi (sorry for calling on the mobile), had a prior appointment with the dentist, hell... My friend's brother agreed to come. I somehow managed to convince him that I was not going to make a fool out of him. I also got hold of a couple there who had come to get their marriage certificate to act as witnesses.

My wife came and my friend's bro turned up. We went into the office. The PA to the registrar handles all the paperwork. He registrar just signs on the certificate. He also takes the official cut from the bribes that are. Suddenly he decides that my papers are not complete.

It seems that the rules had changed. The documents that could be "officially" taken as proof of residence had changed. The new rules were stuck in on the walls of the PA's office. The Hutch phone bill would not serve the purpose. Luckily, my wife had taken a cooking gas connection from HP and that could be admitted as the proof of residence for her. But I was still in the cold. The rental agreement that was to serve as my proof of residence was not valid. I had to get a certificate from the taluka office that I were indeed residing where the rental agreement had stated.

I took the broker to a corner and asked him to ask the PA to "adjust". In Indian official government office terms this means I would pay you a bribe, you ignore. Then I went in a talked to him. He looked at all the documents and said that it would cost 3000 bucks. We finally settled for 2500. It was also agreed that we would pay 1000 now for the notice and rest at the time of the marriage. The color of money changed the attitude of the PA. He just rushed through the rest of the process. In the next room, we got a computer generated application receipt - hell I still had to pay the application fee of Rs 33. This we had to bring when we come back for the marriage.

After the April Fool fiasco, things came back to normal. We had to do shopping, look for a new house where we would stay after marriage and make travel arrangements for our parents. We found the house that both of us liked at a reasonable rent and we took possession on the 30th of April 2006. I continued in my house till 5th May - the initial date of the marriage. (We had initially decided on 5th May as the day of the wedding. My mom decided to consult some astrologers. The astrologers decided that 5th is not such a good day. I was going to take none of it. After a lot of coercing, tussling and threats, the date was advanced a day to 4th May. )

4-5-6

Yes that was the day of my wedding (4th May 2006). My wife and I started making preparations for the marriage. Cards were to be printed. Leave to be applied for. Honeymoon destination to be agreed on. Travel arrangements to be made. We thought that organizing the marriage all by ourselves would be a big trouble. But once we shortlisted on the things to do, everything fell in place. My in laws arrived a couple of days before the marriage and stayed in our new house. My parents came a day before the marriage and stayed at my place. I would forever be thankful to Air Deccan that they did not cancel any flights that day. From my side, my parents and an aunt came for the marriage. From my in law's side, my wife's parents and her brothers came.

So the day of the marriage was here. The itinerary on my side was like this. Get up at 7 in the morning. Get ready. Go to the temple. Pick up the bride. Get married. I had booked a Chevy for the travel. The vehicle arrived at 930 sharp and we finished the temple business. Then we rushed to pick up the bride. We picked up some sweets on the way. There, we were welcomed with fanfare befitting a groom. My mom in law did the aarti and gifts were exchanged.

We went to the registrar's office. We had no trouble with the witnesses this time around. There were plenty of them. The witnesses were my father, her father and my aunt. This was proposed by my mom in law and was unanimously accepted. My wife and I went to the registrar's office a day ago to ensure that everything was in place. He said everything is fine. And asked us to make the balance 1500 payment the next day. Gosh this guy had a good memory.

There were a couple who had married earlier and had come to formally register their marriage. They were in the line before us. They were short by one witness. Suddenly, they got a bit nervous. I swooped in and told them that I was prepared to be the third witness. I was more out of the need to speed en up my wedding process more than anything else. My wife and I looked at each other and we smiled reminiscing the memories of the Fool's day.

So our marriage process began in the earnest. There were a couple of forms that were signed and then we went to the computer room. 60 bucks later, we had the certificate. But hold it, we were not married as of now. On the other side of the PA's room was the registrar's room. We were ushered in to meet him. He asked us our names and our ages. Signed on the certificate and lo and behold, I was officially married. Wow!!. We offered his some sweets. He asked us to go with his PA and complete some formalities.

Later, we had to do some paperwork in the PA's office. He made out three copies of the certificate duly signed and stamped. He congratulated us. I was to give the money to him. But seeing my father standing beside me, I just could not muster the courage to bribe him. I asked my wife to ask my father in law to take my father out of the office. As both our parents went, I gave the remaining amount to the PA and hugged my wife (Actually I wanted to kiss my wife Hollywood ishtyle but my wife said it was not a good idea). My wife shed a few tears of joy and we rushed out to our relatives - its 2pm and all are hungry.

The marriage lunch was held at a the Nandini restaurant next to the BDA Complex. I had not booked the place thinking that we would get some place easily on a weekday. But we still had to wait for about 15 minutes before we were able to sit. Bouquets were exchanged and a few photographs taken. After the lunch, we went back to our new home. Again an aarti was performed - this time my mother in law and my aunt did the aarti. Rings were exchanged. My mom had made our traditional mangasutra which my wife wears with the cross. A few more photos and wow we were happily married.

PS - Some notes on the Special Marriages Act (Popularized by Bollywood as Court Marriage) and some tips on dealing with the registrar and his cronies.

I am officially a Tam Brahm and my wife a Mallu-Christian. So the only way that we could have married legally in India was to get married under the Special Marriages Act. To be married under this law, you need to provide a notice - remember that scene in Baazigar when Shilpa Shetty is thrown from the top of the registrar's office. SRK knew this rule and did not issue the notice. (I don't know why it is called a notice). What happens is that the registrar's office forwards our Notice to the office of the registrar in the districts where the bride and the groom's permanent residences are. This notice is pasted on the notice board in these offices and anyone who has an objection to the marriage should do it within 30 days.

There is "cooling off" period of 30 calendar days before the parties to the notice. Only after 30 days of the issue of notice, can the marriage ceremony take place. Further, the marriage should take place within 90 days of the issue of the notice.

The registrar is hardly available and it is very difficult to meet him directly. In fact, most of the times, he is not in the office. He comes in once or twice in a couple of hours to sign some papers and leaves. Most of the work is done by the PA. To meet the PA too, you need to go through an agent. The PA would not take the money on his own to avoid getting caught taking a bribe. You would have to pay the agent who in turn would give it to the PA's sidekick.

The colleague that I was talking about, got married without an agent at the Jayanagar Registrar's office. She still had to shell out around 1000 bucks. Remember all fees are negotiable. The lesser the documents that you have, the greater would be the cost.

Flop Show - Review

No, I am not talking about the World Cup Cricket. I am talking about that late 80s show (1, 2, 3) on Doordarshan. Last Sunday, my wife and I were browsing through some VCDs when she chanced upon this serial. I am a big fan of this series. My brother and I had memorized a particular episode and used to recite them in gatherings. The particular episode deals with the troubles of people living in a colony where the construction of the flats is very poor. When Mr Bhatti tries to fix a nail into the wall, a brick gives way and falls into the neighboring apartment breaking their TV. The show reminded me of my house in Delhi, which too was famous infamous among our relatives for similar construction quality. Another reason to get nostalgic was the memories of our Punjabi neighbors in Delhi. The locations also remind me of the few places in Delhi which I like (even though this serial is shot in Chandigarh).

The show is a satire on the problems of the common man in the late 80s and the early 90s - like getting a telephone, getting a house to live in, and the comical office situation like getting fake medical reimbursements, trying to find the dog of your boss in order to get a promotion. Many of these situations still exist, not necessarily in the same way. Whats even more impressive is that the serial is made on a shoe string budget. Jaspal Bhatti and his wife are the central characters in each. Very few extras, no extravagant sets and in all probability, the serial was shot using a camcorder or an inexpensive camera. Other than the Jaspal Bhatti and Vivek Shaug, the others are not very good actors, but these two manage to carry them. Do watch it - its worth it even after all those years.

Rating - 7.5/10

An apt final

So the I got the egg today on my plate rather than on my face. Australia vs Sri Lanka is a dream final. The two teams have epitomized modern cricket - aggresive batting throughout, excellent fielding and a bowling attack that is multi dimensional. These two teams have been the best on view by a mile. New Zealand flattered to decieve and South Africans failed to walk their talk. Amid all the hype, both the Aussies and Lankans have gone about their work in their characteristic brands of confident cricket.

Australia were (and still are) the red hot (if not white hot) favorites before the tournament began. Many were saying that this World Cup would be a much closer affair compared to the cake walk the Aussies had the last time around. But the Aussies have just crushed each opposition. Every time they batted first, they scored 300+, have not lost more than 6 wickets in an innings batting first or second and except for Bangladesh (when the match was reduced to 20 overs), they have bowled out the opposition each time. The furthest that they have been stretched was the England game in which they eventually cantered to in the end.

If the Aussies are the Alexander's army pummelling the opposition into submission, then the Lankans are the cunning troops of Genghis Khan beating the opposition with cunning rather than firepower. But make no mistake both of them have been equally brutal - from ending a blue billion Indian hopes to dismembering the Proteas both of them have been clinical.

So how do they attacks match up?

In batting the Aussies have a definite edge. They bat long and hard. After you have weathered the assault from the quicksilver Gilchrist and Hayden who is having the time of his ODI life, in comes Ponting the most destructive batsman of our times and the best since Sir Viv. Following them are Clarke who has quietly collected his runs and Hussey who though starved for some runs at the moment knows how to turn it on. The pack is rounded up nicely with the two big hitting all rounders in Symonds and Watson.

Sri Lankan batting on the other hand are distinctly top heavy. The wily old fox Jayasuriya wants to end his career on a high and he has had a wonderful last year or so. Tharanga on the other hand has had a miserable tournament up until the semis when he burst into life with a splendid knock which gave all a glimpse of what he is capable of. One player Sri Lankans would be mightily disappointed with is Sangakara. He has got out to some pretty ordinary shots when looking set for a big knock. Jayawardane on the other hand after an indifferent group stage seems to be coming good at the right time. He gave a masterclass in ODI batting in crisis in the semis and the Lankans would be looking for an encore a in the finals. Beyond them though it is a the great unknown. Silva impressed against Australia in their Super 8 clash while Dilshan and Arnold have been efficient rather than exceptional. Nobody knows how they would fare on the D-Day.

On the bowling front, Sri Lanka seems to be better placed with the old warhorse Vaas opening up with the irrepressible Malinga who has to be the most exciting bowler on view. Fleming the other day told about how he has come of age and boy is he having a good time. Fernando can be erratic but somehow had the nerves to bowl the final over in that nailbiter against England and bowl Tendulkar for a duck during the group stages. But he has had to do little else. Then comes their trump card Murali who like wine seems to get better and better with age. They are aided by the highly under rated Jayasuriya and Dilshan with Arnold throwing in some dobblers in between as well.

Australia had a miserable run up to the World Cup failing to defend two massive totals in the Chappell-Hadlee series. Admitedly, bowling is their weaker suit but they have improved vastly on this front to the point that a lot of teams are underestimitating their bowling. Tait has been the find of the tournament for Australia giving them a vital wicket taking weapon a la Malinga. McGrath like Murali is having a wonderful time and Bracken has taken over from McGrath in the economy stakes. He seems to be the Bracken of old swinging the ball - both old and new. But the most underrated bowler (the player?) of the tournament so far has to be Hogg. Hogg is vital to Ponting's Plan B of delaying the Power Plays when the opening burst does not fetch enough wickets. Hogg has been the cushion he can fall back to bring them back into the game. The fifth bowler made up of a combination of Symonds, Clarke and Watson is effective but not the same class as Jayasuriya and co.

This would be the battle of the two most balanced attacks on view. Only Sri Lanka and Australia don't rely only on batting or bowling for a win. And only they have demonstrated the ability to come back into a match after an opening onslaught on their bowlers or after a couple of quick wickets.

The Aussies though would have one score to settle. After winning the 1996 final, the Lankans said that they wanted to beat Australia in the finals after they had forfeited a league match, well the Super 8 match between them was virtually gifted by Sri Lanka after they rested Vaas and Murali and the Aussies would like to set the record straight this time around.

As for the final, I believe that Sri Lankan batting is suceptible and like Pollock, Vaas too might struggle containing Hayden and Gilchrist with his gentle medium pacers. In fact it would be very difficult for Jayawardane to decide what to do if he wins the toss. If he bats first, he risks letting his not so strong batting line up crumble against the early morning juice at Barbados. While batting second many not be a joy if you have to chase down 350 like India had to four years ago. Australia should win comfortably.

A Few Good Men - Review

"You follow the orders or people die"

- Col. Nathan Jessep, A Few Good Men

What do you do when your boss asks you to do something that you don't agree to? This is the topic of the famous Milgram Experiment. In our normal desk jobs, you can disagree with our bosses and perhaps have your way, but in the armed forces, you simply don't have a choice. There is no time or leeway to discuss the course of action with your superiors. You just follow the orders - whether you like it or not.

What do you do when your parents have had an illustrious career and you are in the same line? In many cases, the children remain in the shadow of their parents. They are forever trying to do what their parents would have done, trying to be them rather than being themselves.

What do you do when both the parties are right? Many a times in life, there is no right or wrong, there are no heroes and villains, there are simply humans doing their job. Who do you favor?

A Few Good Men combines all these themes into one riveting movie. The movie is set in US Base at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Col. Nathan R. Jessep is in charge of the base and he is very proud of his boys. But one of them, PFC William T. Santiago is not able to keep up with the tough life at the base and wants to get transferred out of the base. He breaks the chain of command and writes to officers above Jessep asking for a transfer. No taking this affront lightly, Col. Jessep orders a Code Red to put Santiago in line. Unfortunately, Santiago dies during this rough up. The marines who followed the order Downey and Dawson are charged with murder. They contend that they were just following the orders. But there is no proof that such orders were given as there is no written record and the other officers in charge have taken the side of Jessep.

Daniel Kaffee is a navy lawyer who has never been inside a courtroom. He is assigned the task of defending Downey and Dawson, aided by Jane Galloway. Daniel is a happy go lucky chap who though talented, lives under the shadow of his illustrious father who was a renowned Attorney General and a contemporary of Jessep. Daniel attempts to come out of the shadow of his father and tries to do what his father would have done in the same situation. Jane helps Daniel discover his own self and make a name for himself.

A must watch movie especially the battle between Kaffee and Jessep in the courtroom in the end.

Ratings -

Overall 8/10
Jack Nicholson as Col Nathan R. Jessep 9/10 - even though he has a little screen time in the movie, he delivers an outstanding performance. Especially the words towards the end - "You can't handle the truth"
Tom Cruise as Daniel Kaffee and Demi Moore as Jane Galloway 8/10 - you won't believe that they are such talented actors when you watch Mission Impossible and Striptease.

Ameican Beauty Review

I have been fascinated by America. Not because of the prosperity and the supposed quality of life there, but by the fact that it is perhaps the only country in the world, which provides you the opportunity to do whatever you want. But this freedom has its problems too. American Beauty is a look at the dark side of the Great American dream gone sour.

The movie is very simple which is chilling as you realize that it could happen to you as well. Lester Burham is a middle aged American journalist who is about to be fired from his job. He hates his wife Carolyn who is a real estate broker who wants to advance her career at any cost and dominates him all the time. Lester and Carolyn have a teenaged daughter Jane. As a single child, she is spoilt and suffers from the insecurities of the contemporary American teenaged girl like the size of her breasts, how good she looks and the lack of a boyfriend. Both Jane and Carolyn think that Lester is a loser and Lester knows it. In short Lester is going through a mid life crisis.

Things starts to heat up up when a new family moves next door. The Fitts too have a single child Ricky who studies in the same school as Jane. Ricky is a drug peddlar and has bought a lot of expensive stuff that his parents think is saved up from his job as a caterer. Ricky has this quirky habit of capturing everything on his camera. Ricky meets Lester at a party and they become good friends and Ricky starts supplying pot to Lester. In the same party Carolyn meets her competitor Buddy Kane. She is enamored by Kane and an affair begins to brew. Lester quits his job to work at the nearby Smiley's restaurant. To complicate things further, Lester also falls for his daughter's friend Angels Hayes.

What follows shows how frustrated Lester is with his wife's phony, status seeking behavior and with Jane's disrespect for him. He tries to do things that he always wanted to do. He starts working out, buys the car that he always wanted and starts enjoying the freedom.

The movie shows the decay that has set into the American society - the broken marriages, infidelity, the insecure gun toting teenagers, drug addiction, the single minded devotion to career which comes at the cost of the family and the lack of communication between the children and their parents. This communication leads to hatred and mistrust among all and their eventual downfall. A must watch as this is how urban India might be in 10 years' time.

Ratings.

Overall - 8/10
Kevin Spacey as Lester Burnham 8/10 - excellent performance. His best scene has to be when he warns his wife in front of their daughter asking her not to interrupt him.
Annette Bening as Carolyn Burnham 8/10 - plays the career minded woman to perfection. Could have been a little more restrained in the crying scenes.
Thora Birch as Jane Burnham, Wes Bentley as Rick Fitts and Mena Suvari as Angela Hayes 7/10 - play the part of insecure teenagers well.

Team for Bangladesh Tour

The Indian team selected for the Bangladesh tour could not have been more inane. My initial reaction was that they had mixed up the ODI and Test lists with each other. There is no Sreesanth in the Test team and he is surprisingly in the ODI team. Sehwag is in the ODI team but not in the test team, though his test performances have been relatively unaffected. Ganguly is in the test team and not in the ODI team even though he is a poorer test player that he is in the ODI format. Ramesh Powar not in ODI team and Piyush Chawla not in the test team.

In the hurry to appease the board and the media, the selectors have botched it up completely. Sure the selected players can perform in the teams for which they have been selected, but surely they should have the opportunity to have a crack in the discipline that they have performed better. And after drubbing Bangladesh in both the tests and the ODIs, these teams would be set in concrete for a year. It would be a year's waste of the talents of Sreesanth and Piyush Chawla - both are not suited for the Indian concept of ODI where containment rather than wicket taking is preferred.

Abiash

Hard to find facts about the AB - ASH wedding -

Did you know that Abhi wore a white colored Jockey underwear size 34. Actually Ash had bought one from Marks and Spencers but unfortunately AB junior lent it to Salman who has refused to give it unless he was invited for the wedding. So left with no choice, AB senior sent Amar Singh to Big Bazaar. Amar Singh saw a great price offer buy 1 get 2 free, as a result, AB junior, AB senior and Amar Singh were all wearing white undies. By the way, to ensure that Ash does not create a scene on the suhaag raat, AB Senior cut the tags on the underwear to ensure original tag-less comfort for his son.

Did you know that Salman came to the wedding. Well, the mare on which AB was sitting was not a mare but a horse called Salman. Sachin gave the same protector that he uses while facing Shoaib Akhtar to Abhi while he was riding Salman. You can never be too cautious.

Did you know that AB junior scratched his butt 23 times during the course of the marriage ceremony (Perhaps the result of the undies that Amar Singh bought and Sachin's protector - Aaila). The results were compared using two AXE Clickers by Price Water House Kapoors the noted audit firm to ensure that there was no misreporting of the results. And the TV channels reported that there was no Salman and no Kapoors in the wedding. In related news, astrologers are saying that since 2+3 = 5 and 5 is Abhi's lucky number, he does not have to worry about Ash being a manglik. It would have been a disaster if Abhi had gone on to scratch 27 times.

Did you know that the wedding was telecast live on FTV. But since no one has FTV now, nobody could watch it. Govt is now contemplating passing a bill asking FTV to share its feed to DD so that all of us can watch the highlights of the marriage and the live coverage of the honeymoon as it is a matter of national importance.

The farce at Kalighat and Dakkineshwar Temples

Disclaimer: This is not an anti-Hindu or an anti-religion post. Please don't flood me with hate mails. This is a just what I saw at these temples - plain and simple facts.

Three weeks ago, my relatives from Delhi had come to Calcutta on a flying visit. As I was supposed to be knowing Calcutta well, I took them around to places they wanted to visit. It was also an opportunity for me to see places around Calcutta which I normally won't like temples, churches, etc.

On Saturday, we visited the famous Kali temple in Kalighat (where else should it be!!). We took a an taxi to Shovabazar Metro station (it was also an opportunity for my relatives to see the famous Calcutta Metro) and from there we went to Kalighat. The temple is about 15 minutes walk from the Metro station. (I would add the map as soon as I can make sense of Google Maps).

It seems that this particular Saturday (31st March) was the birthday of Kalima. My father had warned that even during weekdays there is a lot of rush in the temple. Being a weekend and the "birthday" turned the whole place into a mess. Outside the temple the whole road aptly named the Kalighat Temple Road is full of trinkets and potential offerings to the deity. It is a outdated custom in Hindu temples that you cannot wear slippers inside the temple. So outside most Hindu temples in India, one finds a chappal stand to take care of your slippers while you are with the lord. In case you don't leave your footwear in one of these stands most probably you won't find them when you come back. My mom once went into a temple in Delhi keeping her slippers outside. When she returned, she found the slippers missing. At least the thief was considerate enough to leave her slippers behind so that my mother did not have to return home barefooted.

Armed with this knowledge, all of us were scouting for the chappal stand. Unfortunately, there were not such stands. We found a few folks asking us if they wanted to keep our slippers in their custody while we were inside the temple. Relieved, we took off our footwear and were about to leave the counter when they asked us to buy something from their shops. They said it is mandatory to buy something from their shops. I said, I would give the money for keeping the slippers but would not buy something from their shops. They insisted that we buy something else we can keep our slippers. I would have protested but I did not want to make my relatives uncomfortable so we bought an offering for Rs 11 - the lowest denomination possible. And we went inside.

I have drawn a rough outline sketch of temple.

Inside the temple is a mess. As you enter from the entrance (a), you have to join the queue (b-c-d-e) which would take at least 2 hours to clear. I don't mind waiting in the queue but the way the queue is managed is a shame on the temple management. Your enter the inner sanctum via a small door (d) and exit from the same door and continue on path (e) to the exit. However there are a lot of pimps/brokers/middlemen there who would take you to the temple without you having to wait in the queue. They start at Rs 100 for a group (more if you are a foreigner) but you can bargain for less. We bargained for Rs 50 for a group of three. How does this work?

There is a policeman at the exit (e) who (atleast in theory) is supposed to ensure that people don't enter the temple via the exit. But if you bribe him, he would let you in. This pimp is the market maker between you and the policeman. He would bribe the policeman on your behalf and let you in from the exit. So he asks you to give him Rs. 10 which in turn is passed on to the policeman and you can enter from the exit. Unfortunately for us, today the policeman was not in the mood (in other words he wanted more) so we gave him 10 more. And we were able to enter from the exit. We were definitely not alone. There were many such pimps and many regulars to the temple who were pushing these pimps to get into the temple.

However this is not all. You are allowed to stand inside the sanctum for hardly 30 seconds and there is a mad rush of people inside. The priest grabs you by your head, shoves it into a heap of other heads peering into a window and lo and behold your darshan is over. People are pushing and shoving each other in a desperate attempt to have a sight of the deity. People who had endured 2-3 hours in the queue would have definitely felt cheated and would ask themselves if this was worth the wait.

There is another way that you can have a look at the deity. There is a very narrow passage (g) about 3 feet wide between the main temple and another structure which I call the viewing gallery. In this passage, you can look at the deity (if you are lucky) as there is an window for people from the viewing gallery. On this window a priest sits chanting his mantras and collecting offerings on behalf of the deity. Unfortunately, this route is congested as many people break the queue and enter this passage. I am surprised a stampede does not happen here. My aunt was almost crushed in this passage.

There is another way to get the darshan. There is a policeman at the beginning of the queue (b) who ensures that the queue is strictly followed. However as with most things official in India, you can have your way by bribing him and you can get into the temple faster. Yet another way to get a darshan (though you would be hardly able to catch a glimpse) is to go through the viewing gallery. There too it is congested with people and priests want you to offer generous donations to them in the name of the goddess.

The scene was very much the same the next day when we visited the Dakkineshwar Temple the next day. The only difference was that the scene was enacted in close to 40 degrees (Celsius) of sweltering heat. The idiocy of having to leave your slippers outside just beats you. Your feet are literally fried on the uncovered stoned flooring of the temple.

I have seen quite a few temples (many of them were congested) when I stayed in Madras for 4 years. But I have to say that these temples are very badly managed. They are "renowned" and hence should get a lot of money in form of donations but surely better amenities can be provided to the devotees. And the way they treat these devotees is shameful. If you are in Calcutta and want to visit these temples, it is simply not worth it.

World Cup Semis

So South Africa has scraped through to the semis. Once the Super 8s were decided, you could predict who the semifinalists would be. But the South Africans made it tough for themselves by losing to Bangladesh. England on the other hand should retire their whole team from the ODI format and concentrate on Tests only.

So the predictions for the semi finals - one look at the past records would tell that the final is going to be an Australia - Sri Lanka affair. Aussies have never lost a semi final in a World Cup and both New Zealand and South Africa have never won a knockout match in the past World Cups.

World Cup

This week witnessed some pretty interesting match ups. Australia-England, Sri Lanka-New Zealand and New Zealand-South Africa.

Australia-England
Pietersen has to be the most fearless batsman in the world today. You have to give credit to his courage. Not many people would play the same shot against the same bowler who cracked your ribs. But Pietersen is different. He shimmied down the track and casually flicked McGrath to mid-wicket. The temerity of the the shot was mind boggling and the execution near perfect. But the most vital moment of the game came during the English innings. Ponting delayed the third Power Play yet again and was well rewarded. I thought that the gamble would fail poorly but his bowlers did not let him down. Shaun Tait brought them back into the match and the wily old fox McGrath bowled like a dream during the death. It was as lesson of how to bowl to a field that has been set. With both fine leg and third man up, he had no choice but to bowl full and straight. Six balls all full. Here is the cricinfo excerpt of the 48th over of the innings.

47.1	McGrath to Pietersen, 1 run, and there's his hundred. Another full toss bunged down the ground. Pietersen skips through for a single, and jumps in delight - pumping his fist and roaring his pleasure.
That's his slowest one-day hundred. Time to kick on now
Around the wicket to Nixon; Gilchrist up to the stumps
47.2	McGrath to Nixon, no run, and he plays and misses
47.3	McGrath to Nixon, 1 run, ah, good play from Nixon, shuffling around his crease like a man with ants in his jockstrap, putting McGrath off his line before working it to leg
47.4	McGrath to Pietersen, no run, ooh here we go! Pietersen takes a step outside leg, tries to crack McGrath over his head but can only hammer it back to him
McGrath is nearly thrown backwards with the force of the shot
47.5	McGrath to Pietersen, 1 run, brilliant bowling. Full and straight, Pietersen steps a mile outside his leg stump trying to whack him down the ground but can't time it
Gnasher informs us England have added just 70 since the 30th over
Around the wicket to Nixon
47.6	McGrath to Nixon, no run, and again Nixon plays and misses

And to think that he is playing his last tournament. Phew. Aussies chased well and once Ponting had his eye in, with their long and powerful batting line up, they would never be troubled.

The English commentators - Ian Botham and Mike Atherton are the most arrogant and partisan commentators one can encounter. They believe that this English team is the best in the world. Against Sri Lanka, Botham said that 235 cannot be defended. Against Australia, they elevated Bell, Bopara and Nixon to ODI masters. Very much like how the Indian commentators talk about their team. I have no problems with patriotism, but commentary box is not the place to show it. One needs an unbiased view of the proceedings and unfortunately these blokes cannot do that.

Another very interesting thing that came to my mind during the match was the way Pietersen played to get the last 15 odd runs to his century. He just tuk-tuked his way to a 100 when the need of the hour was to get on with it. It cost England about 20 runs which could have made it slightly tougher for the Aussies. The worst part was that even the commentators justified his approach. When Mike Atherton was asked should he open out or should he look for his century. Mike said, he should look for his century (sic).

New Zealand - Sri Lanka
Every one has a bad day. I suppose this was New Zealand's bad day. They were truly mauled by the Lankans. The scoreboard read 6/2 in 7 overs. Vaas just did not allow the Kiwis to settle down. I did think that Jayawardane missed a trick by removing Fernando and putting Maharoof in. That just let the pressure off the Kiwis. Scott Styris did try to make a match of it but unfortunately Jayasuriya and Sangakara were too smart while chasing. Fleming did however limit the damage to their net run rate though, waiting till the 46th over before taking the third Power Play.

The most irritating part about this World Cup is not that you can see only one innings if you want to go to the office the next day, but to check on the score the next morning when you turn the telly on, you encounter monkeys on NDTV and chimps on CNN-IBN. Kris Srikanth seems to have lost it. He goes hysterical like the rest of the CNN-IBN crew and just blabbers on. Then there is the irritating sports editor of theirs who cannot speak without putting some numbers on the screen. On NDTV, its not very different, Navjot Sidhu and Ajay Jadeja just muck up the whole thing. They introduce Jadeja as a former India captain - ya right 20 odd matches in 7 years mainly because of Azhar or Sachin being injured is captaincy. The most irritating part was when he said the way Scott Styris played to get his 100 was stupid and was selfish. His claim was that once you are 20 odd for 4 then just sitting there and waiting for a some time for the pitch to ease off was going to do no good. They should have gone out and played their shots because they were just fighting a losing cause anyways. Perhaps he has not watched any of the great Aussie escapes especially this one.

New Zealand - South Africa
I don't like the looks of this particular South African team. They are not mentally strong, cannot think on their feet and do not have variety in their bowling attack. They would again get knocked out in the semis and this time it would neither be a tie nor the rain so that they don't drown the town with their tears begging for sympathy. To say that their leader is stupid would be an understatement. Graeme Smith is a good batsman but worse that Bishen Bedi, Navjot Sidhu and Harbhajan Singh combined. Just like the rest of them, he suffers from an acute case of verbal diarrhoea and always ends up with egg on his face. He has rubbed most of his team mates the wrong way. After their public admonition, Pollock has lost all his confidence and Kallis bats as if he wants the double his career strike rate. As for the actual match, NZ did to South Africa what Sri Lanka did to them. In this match too, after 7 overs in the first innings, the score was 6/2.

Well the final week of the Super 6s are here. Yesterday's result means that Australia, New Zealand and Sri Lanka are through with one spot to play for and the final juggling to avoid Aussies as the semifinal opponent. New Zealand would avoid them and Sri Lanka are safe as they have a game against the Irish to manipulate their spot. For the last place I guess it would come down to the England vs South Africa match. Its going to be on net run rate this time too and with the South African luck, they may miss the boat just yet.

Late, Very Late post on the World Cup

Long time no post. Blogger has been blocked in office, the UPS went for a toss, relatives came over and there was no gas in the tank left after watching the World Cup matches in the night. But I have got some time today.. so here is a late, very late analysis of the World Cup so far.

Whatever happens from now on - this World Cup would be known for all the wrong reasons. The death of Bob Woolmer has brought to light the dark side of the game yet again. It had ceased to be a gentleman's game for a long time now but this was really sad. The circumstances of the death are still not know and I would not speculate on them. I would just like to talk about some images of Woolmer that pop into my mind. My first memories of Bob Woolmer was in the 1996 World Cup in the SA - Pakistan game in the league stages. Inzy was considered among the best batsman in the world and was easily their best player of pace bowling. For Inzy, there were a short midwicket as a catching position even though the fielding restrictions were over. This prevented him from playing his trademark hoick over midwicket with which he had massacred the Kiwis four years ago. Forced Inzy looked for some other areas and eventually was run out cheaply. The next image that stays in the mind for long was the infamous earpiece incident during the 99 World Cup against India which he used to communicate with Donald and Cronje. This person was way ahead of his times. I don't know why they made him apologize for this? The third and probably the most impressive image was during the match fixing saga during the Oval Test of 2006. Bob was also a columnist for Cricinfo.com. He discussed the history of the cricket balls and the reasons behind reverse swing. That one article showed why he was such a great coach - he had immense knowledge about the game and its history and he could communicate it in very simple terms(I tried to find that post but have not been able to find on the cricinfo site). May you rest in peace Bob.

The second and the most obvious topic has to be on India's and Pakistan's early exit. I would write more in a separate post. But I was really pleased that the Indian team went out. Sri Lanka played well and really deserved to win that match after India has so famously botched up against Bangladesh. There was no way India could have competed in the tournament even it managed to get through to the next stage if Bermuda had shocked Bangladesh. Tendulakar failed again which is not very surprising and Murali was just fantastic.They talk about the oldies in India being liabilities. But just have a look at Sri Lanka - Jayasuriya and Murali are running around the park like kids. Their desire to win just shows through in their approach to the game. Just like India, Pakistan too did not deserve to be in the Super 8s. The Irish are playing really well. I believe they might be able to upset somebody in the next round.

The scariest match in the World Cup so far was the Aus-SA match in the group phase. There have been quite a few upsets and some thrillers that Sri Lanka have played. But what made me choose this match was the sheer intensity of the contest till about 75 overs. India Sri Lanka played the previous day. To see this match the next day akin to witnessing a Sampras-Ivanisevic bloodbath on grass the day after you have watched a Muster - Kuerten fistfight on clay. Both Australia and South Africa have 11 extremely fit gladiators. They don't give an inch, don't pull their punches and the cricket was really awesome. They seem to be from a different planet altogether. There were two captaincy masterstrokes in that match - first was the way South Africans bowled during the death - they bowled full and wide in stead of full and straight - the ground was very small straight - but was defendable on the side boundaries. So they bowled all the balls wide so that if they were hit, they were hit to the defendable parts and ended up giving 4s rather than 6s. Not many people credit Smith with brains (yours truly included), but this was a well thought out move. The second was the delaying of the third Power Play by Ricky Ponting - another captain whose skills are under-rated (perhaps rightly so). AB and Graeme Smith were going berserk. In such a huge run chase, the team chasing has to hit all the time. There is no room for a breather, no time to consolidate in the middle. With a huge cushion of runs in hand, Ponting decided to delay the third Power Play in the hope of getting a wicket. It was a huge risk because if it did not pay off, it would just consolidate South Africa's position even further. But the Aussies manufactured a wicket from nowhere and that finished off the game then and there.

The best match so far has been the Sri Lanka - England match. I switched off when Pietersen was dismissed believing that Sri Lanka would go on to win comfortably. But the next day as I switched on the TV to look at the results, I was shocked. I regret not seeing the match now. One thing must be said about Sri Lanka is that they really play as a team. In their case, the sum is much greater than their individual parts. Their bowling is disciplined and the fielding is superb. They gave only 3 extras the whole match - yes your read it correctly. And they did not give any till the 20th over (perhaps even later but I got sleepy after that).

Yesterday's match - South Africa vs Bangladesh showed why Smith is not rated very highly as a captain and why South Africa would not win this World Cup - it would surprise me if they reach the semis now. In the final overs, he did not ask the bowlers to bowl a single bouncer when the batsmen were charging all over the place. Nor did the bowlers think of it themselves. He gave the ball the Ntini and Nel when he could have given Kallis a bowl - Kallis (in the absence of Hall) is easily their best bowler at the death. He possesses a lethal in swinging yorker and is easily their most brainy cricketer in their team. And finally Smith was just playing catch up with Mohd. Ashraful during the slog overs. In the beginning of each over, Smith would bring the fine leg in. On the second or the third ball, Ashraful would scoop the ball over the fine leg's head for a four. Smith would change the field and send the fine leg back. The next over the fine leg would be back in the ring. This sequence went on incredibly for four overs !!!

And finally the predictions and wishes - I would like Australia, New Zealand, Sri Lanka and the West Indies in the semis (though I guess South Africa might still sneak in). The final wish is an Australia - New Zealand or an Australia Sri Lanka affair and of course Australia to win the cup undefeated.

My Experiments with Truth ... Cigarettes

Last week a colleague from office returned from a short trip abroad and bought a carton of Marlboro Lights for us in the office. I usually smoke Gold Flake (regular size) and have been told by a lot of my smoking friends that it is very difficult (and painful) to change over from your regular brand. So I took this opportunity to check out the other cigarette brands (I tried these brands over the last four days and followed (or preceded) by my regular brand to compare - all comparisons are vis-a-vis the Regular Gold Flake).

Marlboro Lights - I took two packs (of 20 sticks each) from my friend for my personal use. The cigarette is very dangerous in the sense that to regular smokers, it seems that you have not smoked anything even after smoking 4-5 together. Disappointed.

Philip Morris Menthol 100s - Worse than Marlboro - crap. The menthol flavor ruined whatever little taste of tobacco there was. And the longer length of the cigarette prolonged the misery. Pathetic.

Wills Silk Cut - Indian Marlboro Lights - slightly stronger than Marlboro Lights.

Wills Navy Cut - Much better - closer to the regular Gold Flake. I found it a little milder tough.

Classic Milds - Bad - worse than Silk Cut.

Ultra Milds - Worse than Classic Milds.

Gold Flake Kings - Tad milder than the regular one but far better than Milds. I found it a little more bitter compared to regular one.

Returning to the regular Gold Flake today in the morning was absolute bliss.

PS: There are some more brands available in the market prominent among them Insignia, Charms, Capstan and Scissors - would try them out soon.

Breaks (Brakes) at work?

A recent study suggested that smokers waste around 30 mins. in a day taking breaks to smoke while on work. I am a smoker and a heavy one at that - around 20 sticks per day and I am not going to claim that I don't take 30 mins. per day in breaks.

But one must realize that people take breaks to chat with friends and recharge their batteries. People usually take 3-5 breaks during a work day. Breaks reduce the monotony of jobs and help one gather his thoughts alone. In this day and age of desk jobs, breaks are a important source of physical activity - many doctors recommend taking a walk for about 2 minutes after every hour to prevent back aches and prevent stiffness. Breaks are also a time to socialize - catch up with colleagues in other departments who you don't get to interact on a daily basis. Its also a freedom from the vending machine coffee. Even on assembly lines where they have fixed shift timings, there are usually two breaks besides the lunch where tea / coffee and (or) snacks are served.

The bottom line is all employees need, and take breaks during work hours. Whether it is in the form of smoking, chatting or walking should not be of anyone else's concern as long as it does not affect their work or health - physical and mental.

Bandh

Today the Trinamool Congress, Congress and BJP in a rare moment of consensus have called for a Bandh. Essentially what it means is that no one would be allowed to work today from 6 in the morning till 6 in the evening.

This is the second bandh that I am witnessing in Calcutta in the last two and a half months I have been here. During the first bandh, the impact was only on me - my wife was in Bangalore. But this time around, I had some work. I went shopping yesterday.

I have never seen a market so empty at 7 in the evening - I have not seen many markets on 7 in the evening but still. The fish market was a misnomer. My wife got some fish in 10 mins flat. Next stop - vegetables - more crowd here but still done within 15 mins. Finally the milk booth. Got a liter of milk and we are back.

While shopping for vegetables a group of CPM party workers passed shouting down with Mamata and urging all the shop owners to open shops during the bandh. I could make out that they were saying that Mamata is making a big thing out of this and that she would not be paying these shopkeepers for the day - does the CPM give when they call a bandh. Yes they do. W. Bengal is a quaint place because the trade union backed by the ruling party also calls a bandh against the policies of the government!!!

Just like me, offices have also made provisions so that the effect of the bandh is minimal. Call centers have asked the employees not to go home and have provided free beds and food to the employees. IT companies too have booked rooms in the hotels nearby so that the workers can come to office and the business is unaffected. Many of my colleagues had stayed to with relatives near the office yesterday so that they can come to work today. CBSE has rescheduled class X exams in Bengal only so that the students are not put under extra pressure.

When I got up in the morning today, the roads were empty and my dogs loved because it seems that the street dogs too have participated in the bandh. There were many more people in the park than one usually sees on weekdays and the children had got up early to play.

Now to office - I was surprised to see autos plying - no taxis of course. It seem the auto driver's union is with CPM while the taxi drivers are with Mamata. Folks who drive to work wanted a bandh everyday as they came to office in record time. I walked to office today - four cigarettes and I am there :). I passed the post office on the way. The office was closed (of course - there is no way we would let go of an opportunity for not working even though my family has voted CPM for the last 30 years). But I could hear the sound of 'Kaise Katega har pal har pal har pal' ('How would this moment pass') playing loudly inside the building. Some poor chap had showed up for work today and was stuck with nothing else to do.

So who is affected by the bandh the most? Its mainly the daily wage earners, the shop keepers, the auto, taxi and rickshaw drivers who are the most affected. They don't get anything out of this. The last time I took a cab early in the morning. The cab driver told me what it is like in a bandh. Even if you do not agree to the reason for the bandh, you cannot ply on the roads as the mobs would damage the vehicle or worse even kill you. The police does not provide protection against the mob and most of the vehicles are off the road just as a preventive measure - so much for a free country.

The only saving grace is that tomorrow is a weekend so we are having and extended weekend today :)

No Onions Nor Garlic - Review

I read the review by Jai Arjun and was tempted to read the book. To be honest, I was sceptical in the initial pages thinking that the book would be too "Tamil" for my liking even though I have lived in Madras for four years and it is my mother tongue. But after the first chapter, the book you don't feel it.

The book shows the travails of a PhD student Sundar who also happens to be a Tam Bram. His mother tries to inculcate the ideal Tam Bram behavior in him but his father (who is a former Naxalite and a trade union leader) is completely opposed to Poonal (the sacred thread) and the associated Brahmin superiority.

During a play organized by his PhD guide Prof Ram who is the founder of TamBramAss (Tamil Brahmin Association), he falls in love with a Dalit girl Jiva. What follows is the side splitting comic interplay of caste, arranged marriage, love in the time of Mandal and college politics. Sundar is torn between his heart and the responsibilities as the leader of TamBramAss protesting against the unveiling of an Ambedkar Statue in the college.

Especially funny is the meeting of the parents of the Sundar and his would be which is likened to a football match with scores and all. The travel to a Jiva's village with his future bride and brother-in-law (Chunky) where Chunky gets drunk on half a pot of toddy and has to answer the call of nature during a village play. Sex is shown in typical Bollywood style - two birds meeting each other and the screen blurring. And the end is a satirical take on the typical Indian movie.

Rating - 8/10 - I would highly recommend it - especially if you have lived even one or two years of your youth in Chennai.

Sports and War

George Orwell likened sport to "war minus the shooting". He would be smiling when he sees the commitment of the players and the fans. They are ready to lose limbs just to be a part of the spectacle.

This is a repost - it was posted before my blogs were deleted on 02 Mar 2007

The advantages of being a Vegetarian

I am a vegetarian - well mostly.

I found its a non-violent way of leading life. Here is a chef's point of view.

This is a repost - it was posted before my blogs were deleted on 28 Feb 2007

Budget 2007

Happiness for my dogs.

But I am taxed or am I?

Life seems to be a zero sum game :)

This is a repost - it was posted before my blogs were deleted on 28 Feb 2007

Eat, drint and make merry

I have never been to a dance bar - so I don't know how it feels. Maybe like this.

This is a repost - it was posted before my blogs were deleted on 28 Feb 2007

Sins - Review

"Guilt is a rope that wears thin" - Ayn Rand

This almost entirely sums up the movie. Sins released in 2005 created a furore because of the depiction of an affair of a Catholic Priest. The movie though fleetingly, touches upon the fact that passions cannot be held ransom by rigid moral laws.

The plot is simple - William (Shiny Ahuja) is a pastor in Quilon, Kerala who meets Rosemary (Seema Rahmani) in a freak accident. Since Rosemary has to go to an exam urgently, William offers to give her a lift. Once she passes the exams and with some assistance from William, Rosemary gets into a nursing college. When she comes to thank him, they quickly become good friends. As the days go by, the friendship becomes more and more passionate and they end up making love. Devastated both of them seek atonement for their sins. They visit priests in other regions under changed identities and confess to their sins.

But after the period of penance / abstinence, they can't resist each other and a full blown relationship develops. They make excuses to meet each other and give in to their burning passions. As time passes, William is no more guilty of his conduct. He become more bold and almost publicly demands seeks Rosemary. To avoid losing his well paying job, he conjures up a scheme to ensure that society does not come in his way. He convinces Rosemary to marry Graham with the condition that they would be man and wife only on paper and he would have all the rights on Rosemary.

Vinod Pande (the director) unfortunately is trying to please too many people. He is torn between what he wants and what the audience supposedly want. He tries to please both and ends up with a mess. There too many love scenes that are neither aesthetic nor gel with the rest of the story. They just eat away screen time.

The saved time could have been used up to show the transition of William from a God fearing priest to a debauch hedonist. The way a man loses his guilt and gives up a celibate life for pleasure. A man torn between his job and his personal life - leading two lives - celebrating his freedom and constrained by his societal position at the same time. A man emboldened by ignorance of his actions by the society deciding to dictate the lives of others for his own pleasure.

Rosemary is given a raw deal. She is a puppet in the hands of William. Even when given a chance, she does not quite measure up. She shows her body more than her acting skills. There are lot of scenes where she could have done much better - especially when overcoming her guilt of making love to a priest, the guilt and the subsequent reconciliation with William.

The performances get louder and predictable as the movie progresses and it stumbles upon a very ordinary ending. The use of Malayalam to depict Kerala is jarring at best. Better would have been to shoot the movie in Malayalam, Hindi or English completely rather than trying to artificially prop up the image of the place. I don't know how many Fernandezes are there in Kerala. Rosemary and her mother look more Goan than Malyali - especially in the way they dress and the way they speak in English.

One final comment on the religious undertone of the movie - while the movie does touch upon the restrictions of a particular religion, it should not be construed to be derogating that religion. In fact William's religion actually restrains him from going all the way by retaining the last shred of guilt in him. He tries to talk to various priests to help him. The same story could have been depicted in any other religion as all the religions have some restrictions or the other on the personal lives of the priests. Christianity might have been chosen because of location (Kerala), the original screenplay or perhaps because the community is construed to be much less volatile compared to Hinduism and Islam (which actually seems to be the holy cow in India).

Ratings -
Shiny Ahuja - 6/10 - has put in a lot of effort but the fact that this was his first movies shows - there are scenes where a less hysterical performance would have done much better.
Seema Rahmani - 3/10 - wooden - someone with better acting abilities at the cost of reducing / eliminating nudity should have been chosen.
Overall - 4/10 - The film gives a feeling that much more could have been accomplished.

This is a repost - it was posted before my blogs were deleted on 27 Feb 2007

Holy Grail aka I want to be Dan Brown

Another of those Holy Grail discoveries. I am not sure Vatican would approve of this.

This is a repost - it was posted before my blogs were deleted on 26 Feb 2007

Acts of Barbarism

I got a hair cut on Sunday. It can be termed as an impulse purchase actually !!! I had gone to buy some stuff from the market, when I saw this saloon nearby. Considering that it was a Sunday, there were not many people there at 1030 in the morning. In Bangalore and Madras, the crowd during Sunday and Saturdays was immense - it was as if the whole town wanted to get a hair cut - I once took a day off to get a haircut in Madras. In Delhi and Bombay, it was slightly better but still very crowded. So I did not want to miss this golden opportunity that lady luck had presented me on a golden platter. I just stood there waiting for my turn smoking and soaking in the sights and sounds of the place. Another gentleman came, the barber announced - aapke se phele yeh chote baba hain - agla namber aapka - before you there is this young gentlemen, next turn is yours.

The saloon was like the many you see in small town India (even though Calcutta is classified as a Metro for Income Tax purposes) - everyone seems to know the other person. The process is a chance to catch up with the latest gossip around. Who has died, who is going to get married, how is your son.. the usual stuff. The actual process of hair cutting is just a side act. The shop has the radio on with the hits of 60s, 70s and 80s blaring, unlike the ones in Bangalore or Delhi where you usually have a movie going on a Cable TV. The shop also doubles up as a shop selling hair care products from Godrej Hair Dye to the latest color Brylcreem Gel.

A chai-wallah (Tea boy) comes in carrying half a dozen cups of tea and replaces the empty ones on the Barber's table. Before he leaves he announces the number of cups that have been ingested today - the balances might be settled later in the day or perhaps the end of the month. There is a separate bench for the people who accompany the people getting the hair cut - they are also asked for tea but you have to pay immediately. I take one - it costs only Rs 2 and its very good - just the right combination of tea leaves, ginger, water, milk and sugar.

As my turn comes - he asks how do you want the hair cut - first in Bengali - then sensing my inconvenience, he translates to Hindi - he asks if I would also want a shave and then he goes about his work. During the process, he smokes a cigarette, takes requests for radio channels, sips tea and provides latest information from the shopkeeper's daughter to Mamata Banerjee's next strike. Suddenly, its done. He asks me again if I want a shave - disappointed that I don't, he asks for Rs. 11 only (yes that eleven rupees). I have only 10 - no change for the 100 rupee note. He says nonchalantly - don't worry you can pay me later. In Bangalore - I was once charged Rs 50 for a haircut - even though the mop was as thick as when I came in. But here he had charged the same amount from the previous customer as well. I am glad, I don't have to review the honesty rating of this place soon.

Hair cutting is just one of the many services that these Gents Parlours offer. You can get a pedicure, a body massage, a good champi (hair massage) and of course catch up on the latest edition of Stardust and Filmfare in case its banned at home. Absolut Bliss.

This is a repost - it was posted before my blogs were deleted on 26 Feb 2007

Books - Calcutta

I had heard a lot about the College Street in Calcutta. I was told by many that it is a paradise for book lovers. There are supposed to be a lot of stores of all shapes and sizes catering to different class and budgets. So with crossed fingers and a lot of expectations, I started off on a bright Saturday morning. The best way to reach this place is to take the Metro to MG Road (yes there is one here as well! ) and then walk. Its about a kilometer from the station. Ask anyone for directions to the Presidency College / College Street.

I was very disappointed when I reached there, the books available are all medical guides, JEE, IAS or CAT preparation books. The novels were nowhere in sight. On inquiring, you realize that all the shops stock novels too. But again the variety is the standard list of pirated books - How to win friends and influence people, The Monk who sold his Ferrari, You can Win or the ubiquitious Harold Robbins or some B Grade sex thriller.

I searched the papers and found out the history of the place - I found some here. Most of the shops have no differentiated offerings at all. The shops stock the same books. They don't care about differentiation. Agreed that it is near the Presidency College, but that does not mean that you stock only study books - how many college students actually buy the study books anyways.

Another sore point is the lack of time to browse through the collection (leave alone the book) before buying it. Most shops are too intrusive as if you are looking at their wives rather than the books in their shop. A slightly peaceful atmosphere would not only increase the number of customers but also increase the number of impluse purchases (at least I am more likely to make an impulse purchase when I am alone rather than when someone else is pestering me to buy something saying that its great).

I did find a couple of places - they are exactly opposite the Presidency College - a store called National Book House and one just a couple of buildings down the street opposite the Coffee House which were to my liking. There you get decent books (mostly new ones only) and you get a discount, but again like the shops on the streets, these too have started stocking educational books and the variety of novels available is little.

Rating - Avoidable - unless you want school and college books. I was expecting a row of book shops with all types of novels and books sort of like a big Blossoms. Unfortunately I found a run down Nai Sarak there.

PS: I asked around in my office today and surfed the net for some alternatives, I have picked a few - would try them out in the next couple of weeks.

This is a repost - it was posted before my blogs were deleted on 26 Feb 2007

This could happen in India....

I came across and interesting article here (registration required). This can very easily happen in India as well given our preference for the male child.

This is a repost - it was posted before my blogs were deleted on 23 Feb 2007

Enemy at the Gates - Review

This movie had been recommended by a lot of friends. I finally got a chance to watch this yesterday. (Warning - spoilers)

The Enemy at the Gates is set in late 1942 when the Germans threw the kitchen sink at Russia to gain hold over the strategic city of Stalingrad. Hitler has made it an ego battle with Stalin and he believes that if the Germans are able to capture the city that bears the name of the dictator, the rest of the country would fall. The Germans bomb the city and seem to be winning, but for an untested rookie sniper from the Urals - Vasily Zaitsev (Jude Law). Vasily is a ray of hope for the losing Russian army and immediately becomes a superhero. His rise is also due to Danilov (Joseph Fiennes) who propagates his tales to the rest of the land through the army paper. Germans start losing their to commanders and call upon their top sniper Major Konig (Ed Harris) to finish off Vasily.

The next hour of the movie is simply breathtaking as Konig and Vasily try to hunt each other down. Both Konig and Vasily play games on each other trying to beat them at their own game. On the side of Konig is his years of experience as an instructor at the Wehrmacht underground headquarters in Zossen. On the side of Vasily are his hunter's instincts and his lady love Tanya (Rachel Weisz). Vasily gets help from a former pupil of Konig - Kouilov to understand the tactics of Konig but Konig gets one up on him by getting information from a cobbler boy (Sacha) whose mother shelters Vasily!!

As in all movies a few scenes stand out and might be disconcerting especially to the Indian audiences. The scene where the greatest of all heroes - Vasily shows his weaker side and when he wants to back off would be not be very easy on the stomachs of those fed on a staple diet of emotionless all effacing superheroes. The psyche of the citizens of an attacked country would be another such scene when unlike an Indian mother who wish that her son be dead rather than betray the country, Sacha's mother is actually happy that he has gone over to the Germans because she believes that they are going to win and her son therefore would be better off. The movie captures the full gamut of the emotions of a soldier - the near death encounters, the cat and mouse games that he must play and win, the harsh life that he has to endure and lastly his helplessness over the situation and the deep rooted urge to give up and run away to a secure life because he does not want to be a pawn in his General's hands.

As the stalemate ensues and the winter sets in the German get in for their final kill. This is the last chance for Konig and Vasily.The movie is set up for a stunning finale. But unfortunately the last 15 minutes do not do justice to the movie at all. The movie in fact peters out into a run of the mill Bollywood stuff.

Ratings -
Jude Law - 7.5 / 10 - Very good performance - he plays the part of the reluctant hero extremely well. He does not look comfortable in the unnecessary love scenes.
Joseph Fiennes - 6.5/10 - Impersonates the jealous yet duty bound commander of Vasily Zaitsev well. A bit overboard in the emotional scenes with Tanya.

Ed Harris - 8/10 - steals the show with a commanding performance of the experienced cold blooded sniper sent to kill Vasily - especially the scene when he finishes off Sacha.
Rachel Weisz - 4/10 - the movie would have much better without her.
Overall - 6.5/10 - The first 100 minutes are must watch - the last 15 mins - a must miss.

This is a repost - it was posted before my blogs were deleted on 22 Feb 2007

Music and Lyrics - Review

There are times when you look back at the olden days - you see a your older heroes and want to find out what happened to them? They have been labelled as a flash in a pan and all their future endeavors have been utter disasters. Your Gen Y cousins have not even heard about them. You feel nostalgic and morose at the same time. Music and Lyrics is such a story.

Hugh Grant plays Alex Fletcher one half of one of the a very popular band in the 80s called the POP who did not make it big in his solo efforts. He lives in the past and does not shy from admitting that. He gets a lifeline when he has to compose a song for the latest Buddhism in Thongs teen sensation Cora Corman. The only problem - he is told how the song begins and what it should be about but he has only 72 hours to complete it and has no lyricist.

What follows is a delighful tale of how he overcomes his past and prove to the rest of the world that his exploits in the past were not a fluke. On the way he meets Drew Barrymore (Sophia Fisher) who helps him with the lyrics. But before she can do that, she has to overcome her past as well.

The movie though very bubbly on surface reveals the dark side of life. It shows how difficult it is to get out of an emotional scar, the pressures an artist faces because of his agents and promo managers trying to impose what they think would sell rather than let him explore his own talents. Alex tries to be positive about his failures and tries to live life on his own terms rather than be rich and famous by doing what his manager asks him to do. He empathizes with Sophia and tries to help her find her way back from her scarred past. He tries to infuse confidence in her and helps her face the past.

Ratings -
Hugh Grant - 9/10 - plays the part of the forgotten idol to perfection. His hip shakes are really funny.
Drew Barrymore - 7/10 - portrays the scarred yet brave freak lyricist well.
Overall Movie - 8/10 Must watch

This is a repost - it was posted before my blogs were deleted on 19 Feb 2007

Calcutta - First Thoughts

I have been in Calcutta (Kolkata) for about 6 weeks now. Now that things have settled here, these are my first thoughts of the city.

Honesty
Based entirely on my interactions with Taxi Drivers, Auto Rickshaw Drivers and Rickshaw Drivers, on an average I believe that Calcuttans are more honest compared to the people in Delhi, Bangalore and Chennai. The only place where these people are more honest would be Mumbai. Most of these folks quote the exact same rate for going from Point A to Point B. And the best of it all, they have change till the last 50 paise. Plus there is no night charge (at least I was not charged even though I travelled at 12 in the night - Bangaloreans would be envious as they have to pay one and a half from 830 pm onwards). You have to pay the newcomer's tax sometimes as is the case everywhere.

Food
The essential (regular) items are on par or cheaper than that in Bangalore. You can get vegetables and rice at very low prices. Chinese food is very cheap. Me and my wife enjoy delicious Momos for only Rs 20 per plate (You get 5 pieces to boot). Food if you need to buy is also less expensive. Rotis cost Re 1 only (Unheard of in Bangalore). If you are a fan of South Indian food, please be ready to pay much much more than in Bangalore. The average cost of a Masala Dosa here is about Rs. 30 (About twice the price in Bangalore). Tea is excellent and Coffee avoidable.

Housing, Rents and Landlords
Not only based on my experience but the collective experience of many people I encountered - housing is cheaper once you want to look out of the IT hub of Salt Lake City. In Salt Lake City, be ready to pay extra for most items. The Deposit for houses range from one month to one year. The contracts are not standardized and are definitely negotiable. Unfortunately, unlike in Bangalore, it is very difficult to find a house using Free Ads or Ad Mag. You need a broker. Brokerage tends to vary from person to person please get to know the terms and conditions of the broker before you employ his services. Landlords (even though I did face some problems earlier on) are much better compared to Bangalore. My things got delayed for about a week coming from Bangalore - the landlord and his family gave us food three times a day, gave us two chairs and a table, a bucket and beds. Two of my colleagues in office who were new to Calcutta were treated similarly. The only drawback is that most of the houses are slightly old - the one I am living is about 20 years old and you have to buy your own fans, geysers, etc.

Dogs
Most places don't stock dog food. To get a packet of Pedigree, the best bet is to go to a medical shop and place an order. For the 10kg pack, you would have to wait for atleast 2 days. There are a lot of cats on the street (my wife says its because of the fish :-)) ). In case your dogs have a habit of chasing cats, you would have a wonderful time trying to handle them like I do. Most people though don't care much about dogs and it is difficult to try and find a vet. The city is humid so the dogs might get some time getting used to the conditions just like the rest of us.

Driving and Transport
Don't even think about driving - driving is already prohibited for me. The cars drivers are almost as rash as the ones in Delhi. Autos and Taxis are no exception. The private buses are equivalent to the Red Line buses in Delhi. Helmets are compulsory but as in most cities the enforcement of the law is pretty lax. People carry the helmets to avoid getting caught by the police. If you are travelling locally, try the cycle rickshaw, the hand carts are available in the old city (though they are going to be phased out soon) - for longer distances, taxis though costly are the best medium. If you need to go to a place located near a Metro Station, please go ahead - that's the best part about travelling in Kolkata.

You get a breath of fresh air literally in the mornings. The city sleeps by 9 and most people would not be on the roads after 7 in the evening. There are a few malls coming up but you get most of the stuff in the kirana shops where they recognize you from the third day onwards and give free home delivery irrespective of the amount of your purchase. The shops close almost mandatorily during the lunch time (1230 pm to 4 pm). Its very difficult to get a discount even if you are buying in bulk - I wanted to buy 4 fans but the shopkeeper said no discounts. As one of my friends put - if the thing you want is a necessity then you can get it dirt cheap, else you would have to pay through your nose for it or worse you may not get at all.

Overall, the city though modern is still very traditional. The cost of living is rising but is still lower than the other metros and neo-metros in India. The people are very congenial and helpful. You can survive speaking in Hindi but the first reply invariably is in Bengali, though if they know English or Hindi, they gladly reply in that as well. Rating - 7/10

This is a repost - it was posted before my blogs were deleted on 02 Feb 2007

My Experiments with (Hic)... Truth

I drink only occasionally. I have seen many people drink and vomit out their dinner but I never happened to me. I was told that if you drink too much, then you would end up vomitting. So I decided to test my limit. Last Saturday night, I decided to drink the whole bottle of Smirnoff vodka 100ml. I took about 2 liters of water along. The results.

15 mins - No effect.

30 mins - Slightly feeling numb. But still well in control.

1 hour - Fully Tunn :-)). I have this feeling that I am going to throw up everything I ate along with my internal organs. I hit the bed and lie down.

2 hours - Am awake but I have lost control over my limbs. I know what is going around, but I am helpless to do anything. Try desparately not to throw up.

3 hours - I regain control of my limbs partially. Stomach is still very full. But since I can move around, I decide to take a walk and get some fresh air.

3.5 hours - Walking was a very bad idea. I hit the bed. My head is spinning. I think about a smoke but can't get up.

4 hours - I give up and go to the washbasin and vomit as I have never done before. I am completely exhausted.

4hours - 15 hours - I am in the bed always. I am completely exhausted. My stomach is cursing me. I try to sleep. I get broken sleep. Even a small sound wakes me up.

15 hours - Good Morning. I feel great - no headache - as some of my friends had suggested. I take the dogs out for a walk. Have a smoke.

16 hours - Smoking was a bad idea - I get a splitting headache and I am in a spin. I try to make some tea and have a light breakfast. I take a warm bath hoping that I would ease the pain.17 hours - after the bath I feel much better. The stomach is not grumbling anymore. I decide to go out and finish the pending work.

17.5 hours - the combination of hangover and the sun is a lethal cocktail. The headaches return. I turn back home.

18 hours - I hit the bed again. I have a sound sleep.

22 hours - I wake up - fresh - no sign of the headache. I decide to enjoy the remainder of the day.

24 hours - I feel confident that I have got over the hangover.\u003cbr\>\u003cbr\>The drink ruined the whole of my Sunday. I wow I would never try that god forsaken thing (atleast till the next weekend!! ).

This is a repost - it was posted before my blogs were deleted on 19 Feb 2007

Delhi

The Urban Development Minister has signed the Delhi Master Plan and it would come into effect immediately. What this means is essentially that all the "illegal" traders and schools would be able to conduct business as the law has been changed to accomodate them. But the larger problem still remains in place - should the government change laws to help a few people because they are making noises? I had written about this a few months ago. It not only sets a bad precedent as a government action but also legitimizes the acts of violence by the protesters during the sealing drive.

I am not sure how the Supreme Court would view this order. The plan should be examined by the court and should be struck down. The plan would not only make the lives of people living in these residential colonies miserable, but it would also result in more traders setting up shops in the residential colonies.

This is a repost - it was posted before my blogs were deleted on 02 Feb 2007

Delhi

I came home yesterday to see this. The scene had been repeated some months ago in Bangalore. Here not only the shopkeepers the whole of the locality called a "bandh" to demonstrate their solidarity for a common cause. What really put me off is the fact that the people who suffer as a result of these "peaceful demonstrations" are the innocent and mostly honest people. In Bangalore for instance, there was a shopkeeper(where we used to get our regular supplies) whose shop was forcefully shut down by others even though it was authorized. Now if you are a green grocer, the loss as a result of the rotting fruits and vegetables can be pretty huge.

The problem in Delhi is even worse. Almost every street has a store which is not supposed to be there. Whenever there is any voice against these traders, there are the usual arguments -

He is jealous of us, he should in fact salute our enterprising ability
Near my older home in Delhi, one of the enterprising fellows who had a corner house in a DDA housing complex decided to open an Indian fast food and sweet shop in his garden. The shop became successful but its popularity became a bane for the others. Traffic got blocked, garbage was left out in the open, and the place became very congested. While I would like to salute his enterprising ability, what he did was simply not acceptable. Once he grew in size, he could have easily shifted to the nearby shopping complex and still able to retain the goodwill. I have no problems with anyone starting his business from a house as long as it does not create a nuisance for the rest of the folks. But imagine if you have a banquet hall or an electronics goods showroom next to your house - how would you feel? Most people have a problem only when the shop becomes too big to be housed in a flat and spills over onto the street.

What would we do if you take this place what would we do?
It is not that these people had no other means of livelihood - the enterprising fellow near my home had a regular government job and he used to moonlight as an shopkeeper. The same is the case with most of the shopkeepers in these residential localities. If they did not have any other source of income, how come they could buy such a costly house in the first place?

We provide valuable service and on "humanitarian grounds" we should be allowed to stay
This is the argument made especially by schools. Most of the private schools in Delhi are rung out of flats. Well if you really care for the students in these schools, I believe that they should be closed because the quality of education imparted in these schools is miserable. If the government is really concerned about their academics they should not have approved these schools in the first place. As for the shopkeepers, most have other jobs as well especially those boutique owners in posh South Delhi localities.

Change the Master Plan
This really takes the cake. Many of the General Secretaries and Treasurers of these traders association are also office bearers in the political parties. These traders also form one of the largest sources of party funding. Its simply a case of you scratch my back and I would scratch yours. Mr Reddy even seems to believe that it is the courts which are at fault.

The most unfortunate fallout would be that government would play to the vote bank and change the law. Even if it does not the MCD would hit the small shopkeepers who are mostly innocuous and more likely to have no other source of livelihood while the big fish in those swanky neighborhoods would payup or get a stay order and escape.

This is a repost - it was posted before my blogs were deleted on 21 Sep. 2006