An year ago

It was exactly an year ago on this day that I got caught married. My recollections on this day an year ago and the events leading to it. (Warning: very long)

On March 30 2006, my previous organization decided to reward me with the work that I had been doing for the past 12 months and gave me peanuts bonus. So my wife and I decided to get married. Since she could not take an off on a weekday, so we decided to issue the notice (see PS for details) declaring the intention to marry on Saturday. It happened to be the 1st of April. Undaunted and hoping that our friends would be mature enough to separate reality from pranks, we decided to go ahead.

Since my wife did not have an off on Saturday, we decided that once I had completed the paperwork, I would call her to sign on the notice. So I walked into the registrar's office in BDA Complex, Koramangala at 10 am. I had done some internet research on the Special Marriages Act, and took some tips from a colleague of mine too got married under this Act. A couple of days earlier, I had visited the place to find out the practical nuances. I had caught hold of a broker/agent who said that he would be able to get the thing done in no time - cost Rs. 900. All I need were the identity and age proofs of the both of us, the residence proofs and three witnesses to sign on the the notice.

When I reached this place, the place was deserted. I called up this guy, it turns out the office starts at 10 but everyone comes at 10:30 only. So I thought I would arrange for the witnesses to sign for me. I started calling people. Some excerpts of my conversations -

Call #1:
Me: Hi, Vivek here. I am planning to get married and would like you to come to the registrar's office to sign as a witness for me.
Friend #1: Ya right. Get some one else to be the bakra.

Call #2:
Me: Hi, Vivek here. I am planning to get married ....
Friend #2: Really - do you think I am such a dumb ass

Call #3:
Me: Hi, Vivek here. I am planning to get married ....
Friend #3: Ok today is Saturday. SoI have applied oil on my hair. I would be able to come only at 1.
Me: no problem.
Friend #3: Ok
Me: Yippie
5 mins later, Friend #3 called up again
Friend #3: I talked with my friends. I think you are making a fool of me. I am not coming.
Me: no baba. I swear. I am not making a fool of you. In fact you can get two of your friends too. I need 3 witnesses.
Friend #3: Ok
2 mins later, Friend #3 calls up again
Friend #3: My friends told me that you are going to make a grand fool out of all of us. We are not coming.
Me: Hey hold on, listen.
Friend #3: No. I am not going to be the laughing stock of the town. Bye.

This broker came in at 11. He gave a form and I filled in the details. I still had to find the witnesses. I called up my wife and asked her to come down to sign the papers. I kept calling my phone book. People were asleep, had gone to Tirupathi (sorry for calling on the mobile), had a prior appointment with the dentist, hell... My friend's brother agreed to come. I somehow managed to convince him that I was not going to make a fool out of him. I also got hold of a couple there who had come to get their marriage certificate to act as witnesses.

My wife came and my friend's bro turned up. We went into the office. The PA to the registrar handles all the paperwork. He registrar just signs on the certificate. He also takes the official cut from the bribes that are. Suddenly he decides that my papers are not complete.

It seems that the rules had changed. The documents that could be "officially" taken as proof of residence had changed. The new rules were stuck in on the walls of the PA's office. The Hutch phone bill would not serve the purpose. Luckily, my wife had taken a cooking gas connection from HP and that could be admitted as the proof of residence for her. But I was still in the cold. The rental agreement that was to serve as my proof of residence was not valid. I had to get a certificate from the taluka office that I were indeed residing where the rental agreement had stated.

I took the broker to a corner and asked him to ask the PA to "adjust". In Indian official government office terms this means I would pay you a bribe, you ignore. Then I went in a talked to him. He looked at all the documents and said that it would cost 3000 bucks. We finally settled for 2500. It was also agreed that we would pay 1000 now for the notice and rest at the time of the marriage. The color of money changed the attitude of the PA. He just rushed through the rest of the process. In the next room, we got a computer generated application receipt - hell I still had to pay the application fee of Rs 33. This we had to bring when we come back for the marriage.

After the April Fool fiasco, things came back to normal. We had to do shopping, look for a new house where we would stay after marriage and make travel arrangements for our parents. We found the house that both of us liked at a reasonable rent and we took possession on the 30th of April 2006. I continued in my house till 5th May - the initial date of the marriage. (We had initially decided on 5th May as the day of the wedding. My mom decided to consult some astrologers. The astrologers decided that 5th is not such a good day. I was going to take none of it. After a lot of coercing, tussling and threats, the date was advanced a day to 4th May. )

4-5-6

Yes that was the day of my wedding (4th May 2006). My wife and I started making preparations for the marriage. Cards were to be printed. Leave to be applied for. Honeymoon destination to be agreed on. Travel arrangements to be made. We thought that organizing the marriage all by ourselves would be a big trouble. But once we shortlisted on the things to do, everything fell in place. My in laws arrived a couple of days before the marriage and stayed in our new house. My parents came a day before the marriage and stayed at my place. I would forever be thankful to Air Deccan that they did not cancel any flights that day. From my side, my parents and an aunt came for the marriage. From my in law's side, my wife's parents and her brothers came.

So the day of the marriage was here. The itinerary on my side was like this. Get up at 7 in the morning. Get ready. Go to the temple. Pick up the bride. Get married. I had booked a Chevy for the travel. The vehicle arrived at 930 sharp and we finished the temple business. Then we rushed to pick up the bride. We picked up some sweets on the way. There, we were welcomed with fanfare befitting a groom. My mom in law did the aarti and gifts were exchanged.

We went to the registrar's office. We had no trouble with the witnesses this time around. There were plenty of them. The witnesses were my father, her father and my aunt. This was proposed by my mom in law and was unanimously accepted. My wife and I went to the registrar's office a day ago to ensure that everything was in place. He said everything is fine. And asked us to make the balance 1500 payment the next day. Gosh this guy had a good memory.

There were a couple who had married earlier and had come to formally register their marriage. They were in the line before us. They were short by one witness. Suddenly, they got a bit nervous. I swooped in and told them that I was prepared to be the third witness. I was more out of the need to speed en up my wedding process more than anything else. My wife and I looked at each other and we smiled reminiscing the memories of the Fool's day.

So our marriage process began in the earnest. There were a couple of forms that were signed and then we went to the computer room. 60 bucks later, we had the certificate. But hold it, we were not married as of now. On the other side of the PA's room was the registrar's room. We were ushered in to meet him. He asked us our names and our ages. Signed on the certificate and lo and behold, I was officially married. Wow!!. We offered his some sweets. He asked us to go with his PA and complete some formalities.

Later, we had to do some paperwork in the PA's office. He made out three copies of the certificate duly signed and stamped. He congratulated us. I was to give the money to him. But seeing my father standing beside me, I just could not muster the courage to bribe him. I asked my wife to ask my father in law to take my father out of the office. As both our parents went, I gave the remaining amount to the PA and hugged my wife (Actually I wanted to kiss my wife Hollywood ishtyle but my wife said it was not a good idea). My wife shed a few tears of joy and we rushed out to our relatives - its 2pm and all are hungry.

The marriage lunch was held at a the Nandini restaurant next to the BDA Complex. I had not booked the place thinking that we would get some place easily on a weekday. But we still had to wait for about 15 minutes before we were able to sit. Bouquets were exchanged and a few photographs taken. After the lunch, we went back to our new home. Again an aarti was performed - this time my mother in law and my aunt did the aarti. Rings were exchanged. My mom had made our traditional mangasutra which my wife wears with the cross. A few more photos and wow we were happily married.

PS - Some notes on the Special Marriages Act (Popularized by Bollywood as Court Marriage) and some tips on dealing with the registrar and his cronies.

I am officially a Tam Brahm and my wife a Mallu-Christian. So the only way that we could have married legally in India was to get married under the Special Marriages Act. To be married under this law, you need to provide a notice - remember that scene in Baazigar when Shilpa Shetty is thrown from the top of the registrar's office. SRK knew this rule and did not issue the notice. (I don't know why it is called a notice). What happens is that the registrar's office forwards our Notice to the office of the registrar in the districts where the bride and the groom's permanent residences are. This notice is pasted on the notice board in these offices and anyone who has an objection to the marriage should do it within 30 days.

There is "cooling off" period of 30 calendar days before the parties to the notice. Only after 30 days of the issue of notice, can the marriage ceremony take place. Further, the marriage should take place within 90 days of the issue of the notice.

The registrar is hardly available and it is very difficult to meet him directly. In fact, most of the times, he is not in the office. He comes in once or twice in a couple of hours to sign some papers and leaves. Most of the work is done by the PA. To meet the PA too, you need to go through an agent. The PA would not take the money on his own to avoid getting caught taking a bribe. You would have to pay the agent who in turn would give it to the PA's sidekick.

The colleague that I was talking about, got married without an agent at the Jayanagar Registrar's office. She still had to shell out around 1000 bucks. Remember all fees are negotiable. The lesser the documents that you have, the greater would be the cost.

Flop Show - Review

No, I am not talking about the World Cup Cricket. I am talking about that late 80s show (1, 2, 3) on Doordarshan. Last Sunday, my wife and I were browsing through some VCDs when she chanced upon this serial. I am a big fan of this series. My brother and I had memorized a particular episode and used to recite them in gatherings. The particular episode deals with the troubles of people living in a colony where the construction of the flats is very poor. When Mr Bhatti tries to fix a nail into the wall, a brick gives way and falls into the neighboring apartment breaking their TV. The show reminded me of my house in Delhi, which too was famous infamous among our relatives for similar construction quality. Another reason to get nostalgic was the memories of our Punjabi neighbors in Delhi. The locations also remind me of the few places in Delhi which I like (even though this serial is shot in Chandigarh).

The show is a satire on the problems of the common man in the late 80s and the early 90s - like getting a telephone, getting a house to live in, and the comical office situation like getting fake medical reimbursements, trying to find the dog of your boss in order to get a promotion. Many of these situations still exist, not necessarily in the same way. Whats even more impressive is that the serial is made on a shoe string budget. Jaspal Bhatti and his wife are the central characters in each. Very few extras, no extravagant sets and in all probability, the serial was shot using a camcorder or an inexpensive camera. Other than the Jaspal Bhatti and Vivek Shaug, the others are not very good actors, but these two manage to carry them. Do watch it - its worth it even after all those years.

Rating - 7.5/10

An apt final

So the I got the egg today on my plate rather than on my face. Australia vs Sri Lanka is a dream final. The two teams have epitomized modern cricket - aggresive batting throughout, excellent fielding and a bowling attack that is multi dimensional. These two teams have been the best on view by a mile. New Zealand flattered to decieve and South Africans failed to walk their talk. Amid all the hype, both the Aussies and Lankans have gone about their work in their characteristic brands of confident cricket.

Australia were (and still are) the red hot (if not white hot) favorites before the tournament began. Many were saying that this World Cup would be a much closer affair compared to the cake walk the Aussies had the last time around. But the Aussies have just crushed each opposition. Every time they batted first, they scored 300+, have not lost more than 6 wickets in an innings batting first or second and except for Bangladesh (when the match was reduced to 20 overs), they have bowled out the opposition each time. The furthest that they have been stretched was the England game in which they eventually cantered to in the end.

If the Aussies are the Alexander's army pummelling the opposition into submission, then the Lankans are the cunning troops of Genghis Khan beating the opposition with cunning rather than firepower. But make no mistake both of them have been equally brutal - from ending a blue billion Indian hopes to dismembering the Proteas both of them have been clinical.

So how do they attacks match up?

In batting the Aussies have a definite edge. They bat long and hard. After you have weathered the assault from the quicksilver Gilchrist and Hayden who is having the time of his ODI life, in comes Ponting the most destructive batsman of our times and the best since Sir Viv. Following them are Clarke who has quietly collected his runs and Hussey who though starved for some runs at the moment knows how to turn it on. The pack is rounded up nicely with the two big hitting all rounders in Symonds and Watson.

Sri Lankan batting on the other hand are distinctly top heavy. The wily old fox Jayasuriya wants to end his career on a high and he has had a wonderful last year or so. Tharanga on the other hand has had a miserable tournament up until the semis when he burst into life with a splendid knock which gave all a glimpse of what he is capable of. One player Sri Lankans would be mightily disappointed with is Sangakara. He has got out to some pretty ordinary shots when looking set for a big knock. Jayawardane on the other hand after an indifferent group stage seems to be coming good at the right time. He gave a masterclass in ODI batting in crisis in the semis and the Lankans would be looking for an encore a in the finals. Beyond them though it is a the great unknown. Silva impressed against Australia in their Super 8 clash while Dilshan and Arnold have been efficient rather than exceptional. Nobody knows how they would fare on the D-Day.

On the bowling front, Sri Lanka seems to be better placed with the old warhorse Vaas opening up with the irrepressible Malinga who has to be the most exciting bowler on view. Fleming the other day told about how he has come of age and boy is he having a good time. Fernando can be erratic but somehow had the nerves to bowl the final over in that nailbiter against England and bowl Tendulkar for a duck during the group stages. But he has had to do little else. Then comes their trump card Murali who like wine seems to get better and better with age. They are aided by the highly under rated Jayasuriya and Dilshan with Arnold throwing in some dobblers in between as well.

Australia had a miserable run up to the World Cup failing to defend two massive totals in the Chappell-Hadlee series. Admitedly, bowling is their weaker suit but they have improved vastly on this front to the point that a lot of teams are underestimitating their bowling. Tait has been the find of the tournament for Australia giving them a vital wicket taking weapon a la Malinga. McGrath like Murali is having a wonderful time and Bracken has taken over from McGrath in the economy stakes. He seems to be the Bracken of old swinging the ball - both old and new. But the most underrated bowler (the player?) of the tournament so far has to be Hogg. Hogg is vital to Ponting's Plan B of delaying the Power Plays when the opening burst does not fetch enough wickets. Hogg has been the cushion he can fall back to bring them back into the game. The fifth bowler made up of a combination of Symonds, Clarke and Watson is effective but not the same class as Jayasuriya and co.

This would be the battle of the two most balanced attacks on view. Only Sri Lanka and Australia don't rely only on batting or bowling for a win. And only they have demonstrated the ability to come back into a match after an opening onslaught on their bowlers or after a couple of quick wickets.

The Aussies though would have one score to settle. After winning the 1996 final, the Lankans said that they wanted to beat Australia in the finals after they had forfeited a league match, well the Super 8 match between them was virtually gifted by Sri Lanka after they rested Vaas and Murali and the Aussies would like to set the record straight this time around.

As for the final, I believe that Sri Lankan batting is suceptible and like Pollock, Vaas too might struggle containing Hayden and Gilchrist with his gentle medium pacers. In fact it would be very difficult for Jayawardane to decide what to do if he wins the toss. If he bats first, he risks letting his not so strong batting line up crumble against the early morning juice at Barbados. While batting second many not be a joy if you have to chase down 350 like India had to four years ago. Australia should win comfortably.

A Few Good Men - Review

"You follow the orders or people die"

- Col. Nathan Jessep, A Few Good Men

What do you do when your boss asks you to do something that you don't agree to? This is the topic of the famous Milgram Experiment. In our normal desk jobs, you can disagree with our bosses and perhaps have your way, but in the armed forces, you simply don't have a choice. There is no time or leeway to discuss the course of action with your superiors. You just follow the orders - whether you like it or not.

What do you do when your parents have had an illustrious career and you are in the same line? In many cases, the children remain in the shadow of their parents. They are forever trying to do what their parents would have done, trying to be them rather than being themselves.

What do you do when both the parties are right? Many a times in life, there is no right or wrong, there are no heroes and villains, there are simply humans doing their job. Who do you favor?

A Few Good Men combines all these themes into one riveting movie. The movie is set in US Base at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Col. Nathan R. Jessep is in charge of the base and he is very proud of his boys. But one of them, PFC William T. Santiago is not able to keep up with the tough life at the base and wants to get transferred out of the base. He breaks the chain of command and writes to officers above Jessep asking for a transfer. No taking this affront lightly, Col. Jessep orders a Code Red to put Santiago in line. Unfortunately, Santiago dies during this rough up. The marines who followed the order Downey and Dawson are charged with murder. They contend that they were just following the orders. But there is no proof that such orders were given as there is no written record and the other officers in charge have taken the side of Jessep.

Daniel Kaffee is a navy lawyer who has never been inside a courtroom. He is assigned the task of defending Downey and Dawson, aided by Jane Galloway. Daniel is a happy go lucky chap who though talented, lives under the shadow of his illustrious father who was a renowned Attorney General and a contemporary of Jessep. Daniel attempts to come out of the shadow of his father and tries to do what his father would have done in the same situation. Jane helps Daniel discover his own self and make a name for himself.

A must watch movie especially the battle between Kaffee and Jessep in the courtroom in the end.

Ratings -

Overall 8/10
Jack Nicholson as Col Nathan R. Jessep 9/10 - even though he has a little screen time in the movie, he delivers an outstanding performance. Especially the words towards the end - "You can't handle the truth"
Tom Cruise as Daniel Kaffee and Demi Moore as Jane Galloway 8/10 - you won't believe that they are such talented actors when you watch Mission Impossible and Striptease.

Ameican Beauty Review

I have been fascinated by America. Not because of the prosperity and the supposed quality of life there, but by the fact that it is perhaps the only country in the world, which provides you the opportunity to do whatever you want. But this freedom has its problems too. American Beauty is a look at the dark side of the Great American dream gone sour.

The movie is very simple which is chilling as you realize that it could happen to you as well. Lester Burham is a middle aged American journalist who is about to be fired from his job. He hates his wife Carolyn who is a real estate broker who wants to advance her career at any cost and dominates him all the time. Lester and Carolyn have a teenaged daughter Jane. As a single child, she is spoilt and suffers from the insecurities of the contemporary American teenaged girl like the size of her breasts, how good she looks and the lack of a boyfriend. Both Jane and Carolyn think that Lester is a loser and Lester knows it. In short Lester is going through a mid life crisis.

Things starts to heat up up when a new family moves next door. The Fitts too have a single child Ricky who studies in the same school as Jane. Ricky is a drug peddlar and has bought a lot of expensive stuff that his parents think is saved up from his job as a caterer. Ricky has this quirky habit of capturing everything on his camera. Ricky meets Lester at a party and they become good friends and Ricky starts supplying pot to Lester. In the same party Carolyn meets her competitor Buddy Kane. She is enamored by Kane and an affair begins to brew. Lester quits his job to work at the nearby Smiley's restaurant. To complicate things further, Lester also falls for his daughter's friend Angels Hayes.

What follows shows how frustrated Lester is with his wife's phony, status seeking behavior and with Jane's disrespect for him. He tries to do things that he always wanted to do. He starts working out, buys the car that he always wanted and starts enjoying the freedom.

The movie shows the decay that has set into the American society - the broken marriages, infidelity, the insecure gun toting teenagers, drug addiction, the single minded devotion to career which comes at the cost of the family and the lack of communication between the children and their parents. This communication leads to hatred and mistrust among all and their eventual downfall. A must watch as this is how urban India might be in 10 years' time.

Ratings.

Overall - 8/10
Kevin Spacey as Lester Burnham 8/10 - excellent performance. His best scene has to be when he warns his wife in front of their daughter asking her not to interrupt him.
Annette Bening as Carolyn Burnham 8/10 - plays the career minded woman to perfection. Could have been a little more restrained in the crying scenes.
Thora Birch as Jane Burnham, Wes Bentley as Rick Fitts and Mena Suvari as Angela Hayes 7/10 - play the part of insecure teenagers well.

Team for Bangladesh Tour

The Indian team selected for the Bangladesh tour could not have been more inane. My initial reaction was that they had mixed up the ODI and Test lists with each other. There is no Sreesanth in the Test team and he is surprisingly in the ODI team. Sehwag is in the ODI team but not in the test team, though his test performances have been relatively unaffected. Ganguly is in the test team and not in the ODI team even though he is a poorer test player that he is in the ODI format. Ramesh Powar not in ODI team and Piyush Chawla not in the test team.

In the hurry to appease the board and the media, the selectors have botched it up completely. Sure the selected players can perform in the teams for which they have been selected, but surely they should have the opportunity to have a crack in the discipline that they have performed better. And after drubbing Bangladesh in both the tests and the ODIs, these teams would be set in concrete for a year. It would be a year's waste of the talents of Sreesanth and Piyush Chawla - both are not suited for the Indian concept of ODI where containment rather than wicket taking is preferred.

Abiash

Hard to find facts about the AB - ASH wedding -

Did you know that Abhi wore a white colored Jockey underwear size 34. Actually Ash had bought one from Marks and Spencers but unfortunately AB junior lent it to Salman who has refused to give it unless he was invited for the wedding. So left with no choice, AB senior sent Amar Singh to Big Bazaar. Amar Singh saw a great price offer buy 1 get 2 free, as a result, AB junior, AB senior and Amar Singh were all wearing white undies. By the way, to ensure that Ash does not create a scene on the suhaag raat, AB Senior cut the tags on the underwear to ensure original tag-less comfort for his son.

Did you know that Salman came to the wedding. Well, the mare on which AB was sitting was not a mare but a horse called Salman. Sachin gave the same protector that he uses while facing Shoaib Akhtar to Abhi while he was riding Salman. You can never be too cautious.

Did you know that AB junior scratched his butt 23 times during the course of the marriage ceremony (Perhaps the result of the undies that Amar Singh bought and Sachin's protector - Aaila). The results were compared using two AXE Clickers by Price Water House Kapoors the noted audit firm to ensure that there was no misreporting of the results. And the TV channels reported that there was no Salman and no Kapoors in the wedding. In related news, astrologers are saying that since 2+3 = 5 and 5 is Abhi's lucky number, he does not have to worry about Ash being a manglik. It would have been a disaster if Abhi had gone on to scratch 27 times.

Did you know that the wedding was telecast live on FTV. But since no one has FTV now, nobody could watch it. Govt is now contemplating passing a bill asking FTV to share its feed to DD so that all of us can watch the highlights of the marriage and the live coverage of the honeymoon as it is a matter of national importance.

The farce at Kalighat and Dakkineshwar Temples

Disclaimer: This is not an anti-Hindu or an anti-religion post. Please don't flood me with hate mails. This is a just what I saw at these temples - plain and simple facts.

Three weeks ago, my relatives from Delhi had come to Calcutta on a flying visit. As I was supposed to be knowing Calcutta well, I took them around to places they wanted to visit. It was also an opportunity for me to see places around Calcutta which I normally won't like temples, churches, etc.

On Saturday, we visited the famous Kali temple in Kalighat (where else should it be!!). We took a an taxi to Shovabazar Metro station (it was also an opportunity for my relatives to see the famous Calcutta Metro) and from there we went to Kalighat. The temple is about 15 minutes walk from the Metro station. (I would add the map as soon as I can make sense of Google Maps).

It seems that this particular Saturday (31st March) was the birthday of Kalima. My father had warned that even during weekdays there is a lot of rush in the temple. Being a weekend and the "birthday" turned the whole place into a mess. Outside the temple the whole road aptly named the Kalighat Temple Road is full of trinkets and potential offerings to the deity. It is a outdated custom in Hindu temples that you cannot wear slippers inside the temple. So outside most Hindu temples in India, one finds a chappal stand to take care of your slippers while you are with the lord. In case you don't leave your footwear in one of these stands most probably you won't find them when you come back. My mom once went into a temple in Delhi keeping her slippers outside. When she returned, she found the slippers missing. At least the thief was considerate enough to leave her slippers behind so that my mother did not have to return home barefooted.

Armed with this knowledge, all of us were scouting for the chappal stand. Unfortunately, there were not such stands. We found a few folks asking us if they wanted to keep our slippers in their custody while we were inside the temple. Relieved, we took off our footwear and were about to leave the counter when they asked us to buy something from their shops. They said it is mandatory to buy something from their shops. I said, I would give the money for keeping the slippers but would not buy something from their shops. They insisted that we buy something else we can keep our slippers. I would have protested but I did not want to make my relatives uncomfortable so we bought an offering for Rs 11 - the lowest denomination possible. And we went inside.

I have drawn a rough outline sketch of temple.

Inside the temple is a mess. As you enter from the entrance (a), you have to join the queue (b-c-d-e) which would take at least 2 hours to clear. I don't mind waiting in the queue but the way the queue is managed is a shame on the temple management. Your enter the inner sanctum via a small door (d) and exit from the same door and continue on path (e) to the exit. However there are a lot of pimps/brokers/middlemen there who would take you to the temple without you having to wait in the queue. They start at Rs 100 for a group (more if you are a foreigner) but you can bargain for less. We bargained for Rs 50 for a group of three. How does this work?

There is a policeman at the exit (e) who (atleast in theory) is supposed to ensure that people don't enter the temple via the exit. But if you bribe him, he would let you in. This pimp is the market maker between you and the policeman. He would bribe the policeman on your behalf and let you in from the exit. So he asks you to give him Rs. 10 which in turn is passed on to the policeman and you can enter from the exit. Unfortunately for us, today the policeman was not in the mood (in other words he wanted more) so we gave him 10 more. And we were able to enter from the exit. We were definitely not alone. There were many such pimps and many regulars to the temple who were pushing these pimps to get into the temple.

However this is not all. You are allowed to stand inside the sanctum for hardly 30 seconds and there is a mad rush of people inside. The priest grabs you by your head, shoves it into a heap of other heads peering into a window and lo and behold your darshan is over. People are pushing and shoving each other in a desperate attempt to have a sight of the deity. People who had endured 2-3 hours in the queue would have definitely felt cheated and would ask themselves if this was worth the wait.

There is another way that you can have a look at the deity. There is a very narrow passage (g) about 3 feet wide between the main temple and another structure which I call the viewing gallery. In this passage, you can look at the deity (if you are lucky) as there is an window for people from the viewing gallery. On this window a priest sits chanting his mantras and collecting offerings on behalf of the deity. Unfortunately, this route is congested as many people break the queue and enter this passage. I am surprised a stampede does not happen here. My aunt was almost crushed in this passage.

There is another way to get the darshan. There is a policeman at the beginning of the queue (b) who ensures that the queue is strictly followed. However as with most things official in India, you can have your way by bribing him and you can get into the temple faster. Yet another way to get a darshan (though you would be hardly able to catch a glimpse) is to go through the viewing gallery. There too it is congested with people and priests want you to offer generous donations to them in the name of the goddess.

The scene was very much the same the next day when we visited the Dakkineshwar Temple the next day. The only difference was that the scene was enacted in close to 40 degrees (Celsius) of sweltering heat. The idiocy of having to leave your slippers outside just beats you. Your feet are literally fried on the uncovered stoned flooring of the temple.

I have seen quite a few temples (many of them were congested) when I stayed in Madras for 4 years. But I have to say that these temples are very badly managed. They are "renowned" and hence should get a lot of money in form of donations but surely better amenities can be provided to the devotees. And the way they treat these devotees is shameful. If you are in Calcutta and want to visit these temples, it is simply not worth it.

World Cup Semis

So South Africa has scraped through to the semis. Once the Super 8s were decided, you could predict who the semifinalists would be. But the South Africans made it tough for themselves by losing to Bangladesh. England on the other hand should retire their whole team from the ODI format and concentrate on Tests only.

So the predictions for the semi finals - one look at the past records would tell that the final is going to be an Australia - Sri Lanka affair. Aussies have never lost a semi final in a World Cup and both New Zealand and South Africa have never won a knockout match in the past World Cups.

World Cup

This week witnessed some pretty interesting match ups. Australia-England, Sri Lanka-New Zealand and New Zealand-South Africa.

Australia-England
Pietersen has to be the most fearless batsman in the world today. You have to give credit to his courage. Not many people would play the same shot against the same bowler who cracked your ribs. But Pietersen is different. He shimmied down the track and casually flicked McGrath to mid-wicket. The temerity of the the shot was mind boggling and the execution near perfect. But the most vital moment of the game came during the English innings. Ponting delayed the third Power Play yet again and was well rewarded. I thought that the gamble would fail poorly but his bowlers did not let him down. Shaun Tait brought them back into the match and the wily old fox McGrath bowled like a dream during the death. It was as lesson of how to bowl to a field that has been set. With both fine leg and third man up, he had no choice but to bowl full and straight. Six balls all full. Here is the cricinfo excerpt of the 48th over of the innings.

47.1	McGrath to Pietersen, 1 run, and there's his hundred. Another full toss bunged down the ground. Pietersen skips through for a single, and jumps in delight - pumping his fist and roaring his pleasure.
That's his slowest one-day hundred. Time to kick on now
Around the wicket to Nixon; Gilchrist up to the stumps
47.2	McGrath to Nixon, no run, and he plays and misses
47.3	McGrath to Nixon, 1 run, ah, good play from Nixon, shuffling around his crease like a man with ants in his jockstrap, putting McGrath off his line before working it to leg
47.4	McGrath to Pietersen, no run, ooh here we go! Pietersen takes a step outside leg, tries to crack McGrath over his head but can only hammer it back to him
McGrath is nearly thrown backwards with the force of the shot
47.5	McGrath to Pietersen, 1 run, brilliant bowling. Full and straight, Pietersen steps a mile outside his leg stump trying to whack him down the ground but can't time it
Gnasher informs us England have added just 70 since the 30th over
Around the wicket to Nixon
47.6	McGrath to Nixon, no run, and again Nixon plays and misses

And to think that he is playing his last tournament. Phew. Aussies chased well and once Ponting had his eye in, with their long and powerful batting line up, they would never be troubled.

The English commentators - Ian Botham and Mike Atherton are the most arrogant and partisan commentators one can encounter. They believe that this English team is the best in the world. Against Sri Lanka, Botham said that 235 cannot be defended. Against Australia, they elevated Bell, Bopara and Nixon to ODI masters. Very much like how the Indian commentators talk about their team. I have no problems with patriotism, but commentary box is not the place to show it. One needs an unbiased view of the proceedings and unfortunately these blokes cannot do that.

Another very interesting thing that came to my mind during the match was the way Pietersen played to get the last 15 odd runs to his century. He just tuk-tuked his way to a 100 when the need of the hour was to get on with it. It cost England about 20 runs which could have made it slightly tougher for the Aussies. The worst part was that even the commentators justified his approach. When Mike Atherton was asked should he open out or should he look for his century. Mike said, he should look for his century (sic).

New Zealand - Sri Lanka
Every one has a bad day. I suppose this was New Zealand's bad day. They were truly mauled by the Lankans. The scoreboard read 6/2 in 7 overs. Vaas just did not allow the Kiwis to settle down. I did think that Jayawardane missed a trick by removing Fernando and putting Maharoof in. That just let the pressure off the Kiwis. Scott Styris did try to make a match of it but unfortunately Jayasuriya and Sangakara were too smart while chasing. Fleming did however limit the damage to their net run rate though, waiting till the 46th over before taking the third Power Play.

The most irritating part about this World Cup is not that you can see only one innings if you want to go to the office the next day, but to check on the score the next morning when you turn the telly on, you encounter monkeys on NDTV and chimps on CNN-IBN. Kris Srikanth seems to have lost it. He goes hysterical like the rest of the CNN-IBN crew and just blabbers on. Then there is the irritating sports editor of theirs who cannot speak without putting some numbers on the screen. On NDTV, its not very different, Navjot Sidhu and Ajay Jadeja just muck up the whole thing. They introduce Jadeja as a former India captain - ya right 20 odd matches in 7 years mainly because of Azhar or Sachin being injured is captaincy. The most irritating part was when he said the way Scott Styris played to get his 100 was stupid and was selfish. His claim was that once you are 20 odd for 4 then just sitting there and waiting for a some time for the pitch to ease off was going to do no good. They should have gone out and played their shots because they were just fighting a losing cause anyways. Perhaps he has not watched any of the great Aussie escapes especially this one.

New Zealand - South Africa
I don't like the looks of this particular South African team. They are not mentally strong, cannot think on their feet and do not have variety in their bowling attack. They would again get knocked out in the semis and this time it would neither be a tie nor the rain so that they don't drown the town with their tears begging for sympathy. To say that their leader is stupid would be an understatement. Graeme Smith is a good batsman but worse that Bishen Bedi, Navjot Sidhu and Harbhajan Singh combined. Just like the rest of them, he suffers from an acute case of verbal diarrhoea and always ends up with egg on his face. He has rubbed most of his team mates the wrong way. After their public admonition, Pollock has lost all his confidence and Kallis bats as if he wants the double his career strike rate. As for the actual match, NZ did to South Africa what Sri Lanka did to them. In this match too, after 7 overs in the first innings, the score was 6/2.

Well the final week of the Super 6s are here. Yesterday's result means that Australia, New Zealand and Sri Lanka are through with one spot to play for and the final juggling to avoid Aussies as the semifinal opponent. New Zealand would avoid them and Sri Lanka are safe as they have a game against the Irish to manipulate their spot. For the last place I guess it would come down to the England vs South Africa match. Its going to be on net run rate this time too and with the South African luck, they may miss the boat just yet.